*Cue APERTURE THEME*
ATTENTION: APERTURE EMPLOYEES! Cave Johnson here…
Shorah, DTC here…
So I’ve been thinking. When Life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade on Tuesdays then make it Sundays only because you can’t handle production on more than one day of the week! Get smart! Industrialize it! Make a FRANCHISE out of those Lemons! Find someone who’s willing to do the Tuesday Lemonade making FOR YOU FOR FREE.
That’s right, starting today I’m opening the hunt for people who are willing to manage a WEEKDAY HERITAGE NIGHT (Actually at night so the name fits, and preferably on Tuesday when ABSOLUTELY NOTHING happens in URU.) and do all the things that I Have to do too!
This is a LONG TIME JOB with a LOT of additional stress to your surface life. You don’t need any prior experience. Training will be provided. Now you may be asking yourself, “Cal, What DOES Managing HN Involve?” Well I’ll Tell You What It Involves!
It requires setting up a schedule in game for EIGHT (8) Nights (One Round) Of Heritage Night at YOUR discretion. You can set the time and date, but what we’re aiming for here is what we used to do under Carl’s management, Tuesdays at either 18:00 or 16:00 KI time.
What’s that? You don’t know the history? Well Look no further than Ainia’s wonderful compilation journal at Rel.To/Historydoc for all you historical needs! Sure, there’s a WHOLE LOT more to it than that, but this is the VERY FINE, DISTILLED ESSENCE of URU’s History.
What else does MANAGING require? It requires you finding two things on any given day: An USHER and SPEAKERS. What the heek are these? Just check out those two little links on the side underneath the “Important Things” tab. You need one or the other, really, on any given day.
A Manager ALSO doubles as a Speaker or Usher when the situation requires. On these occasions, what you need is an USHER. When You have no usher, but DO have a Speaker, YOU double as the Usher!
SO YEAH. That’s about it! If you’re interested in filling this position, PLEASE, Send me a message through anything on the CONTACT US PAGE and if you get the part, we’ll work on getting you situated in the reigns of HERITAGE NIGHT!
Cave Johnson, Calum Traveler, I’m outta here!